When a loved one has an addiction, it can be difficult to watch, especially when it’s your child. You want to help them and might be fearful of pushing them away and making situations worse. Not to mention, your spouse may not agree with you on how to go about your child’s addiction. Communicating with your spouse may be difficult during these times. Feeling tension is natural. However, it creates a communication issue when a decision cannot be reasonably made, which is why it’s so important to focus on understanding how to communicate with your spouse when faced with these situations.
There are various ways to help with communication within a partnership, such as talking when you are calm, working as a team, understanding your partner, and knowing when to seek professional help. There are people who want to help you not only get help with learning how to communicate with your spouse but also get help for your child and their addiction. Call 912-214-3867 today for information on how or experts can help guide you on your road to recovery.
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Effectively communicating about your child’s addiction with your spouse can greatly improve the success of your child’s treatment. Read more down below on how to solve communication issues with your spouse:
Learn How To Communicate With Your Spouse
When your child is dealing with addiction, you want to make the right choices, right away. This can be difficult if your partner does not agree with how their recovery should be handled. You might be wondering how to move forward with your child’s addiction treatment. The key is communication. Achieving great communication can be difficult, especially with such a sensitive topic. Talking through disagreements in a relaxing environment while remaining calm is a great way to start.
When calm, you can more efficiently listen to each other’s opinions and points of view. Remaining calm during disagreements can assure that you are communicating better with your spouse. A calm composure ensures that you do not react overly critically or verbally attack your partner. Remaining calm can help you understand your partner’s opinion with respect and potentially come to a decision that makes you both feel comfortable and ready to take the next step together. If the discussion starts to get hostile, you can always take a break, cool down, and then set up another time to talk about the subject. This can help keep you level-headed, and perhaps consider your partner’s perspective on things. Gaining a better understanding of how to communicate with your spouse can help you avoid communication breakdowns and pitfalls.
Hostile Arguments in the Home
Hostile arguments and discussions can be damaging in life in general but can be inevitable when dealing with children and addiction. Try to avoid hostile arguments, as they are not effective and counter-productive. Hostility within arguments is not just yelling and fighting but can include much more, such as:
- Sarcasm
- Dismissive comments
- Put-downs
- Subtle threats
- Other damaging communication
Hostile arguments are why it is important to remain calm while discussing aspects of your child’s addiction. Listening to your partner and what they think, and how they feel things should be handled, should all be considered.
When parents fight, it causes uneasiness and anxiety within children, and kids can sometimes pin one parent against the other. The children do not know what is right or wrong, and they do not get held accountable for their behavior because the parents are focusing on each other. It is crucial that parents discuss matters away from their child, and after they have taken some time to calm down. Working as a team is the best way to avoid arguments.
Compromises in Parenting
Parenting as a team is the only way to instill structure and rules within the house. A lack of unity within partners can lead to kids experiencing anxiety and acting out and other behavioral issues. Arguing is natural, especially when it comes to raising kids. It only gets more difficult when hardships arise, such as addiction.
However, there is a time and a place to disagree. The best way to do this would be to speak in private where the child cannot hear you, and work out a solution or come up with an agreement. Kids can play one parent against the other or may stick with one parent, creating a parent-child team against one parent. This is why speaking in private and coming up with a solution is best, and it keeps you working as a team. Backing each other up with agreed-upon punishments is also effective when trying to parent. How to communicate with your spouse is essential when helping guide your children.
The Importance of Compromise
Sometimes, neither person will be able to get everything they want. This is when a compromise comes in. Occasionally, one parent will feel very strongly about something, and it is important to know when they are truly passionate about the situation. You may want to allow them to take charge and trust their instincts in this situation. This means one parent defers to the other parent’s solution because they are passionate and have stronger feelings towards an issue.
Compromising is an important aspect to work on when dealing with difficult situations, such as addiction. Making sure each other’s needs are met is how people can feel heard and understood throughout discussions and arguments. Both parents should have a say in how the recovery process should be dealt with. Understanding your spouse’s points of view and opinions is essential when trying to parent as a team or have good communication. If your child is struggling with addiction, then contact us today. Our experts will be able to help you get your child the help they need.
Children with Unified Parents
Another factor that you should consider when trying to communicate with your spouse is their family history. Their parenting style might be much different than yours because of what they are familiar with. People often try to repeat what happened in their household for punishment or consequences. Understanding why they parent the way they do and what they are thinking is important to effectively communicate with them. You will want to address and work on this behavior because this isn’t your parents’ house anymore.
You and your spouse have to come up with your own rules and ways of doing things. Aspects from each side can make it into the process of addressing difficult situations and help you come to a compromise where both parents feel heard and understood. Making new changes for the better will not only help the communication between both you and your spouse, but it will help the parenting style.
Focus on What is Important
A lack of communication during the process of getting treatment for your child can oftentimes play one parent against the other. The parents are focusing on each other rather than the kid, and they are not held responsible for their actions and behavior. Most of the time, the behavior continues for however long the parents continue to argue. Other times, kids can take sides when the parents argue, creating a parent-child team against one parent. Usually, the parent-child team wins.
It is very important for parents to stick together and have unity with their decisions. Parents must be willing to communicate with their partner whenever disagreements occur. It’s also important to have discussions civilly and in private. Once a decision has been made or a compromise has been agreed upon, the parents must back each other up when it comes to the rules and the processes of executing them in difficult situations.
Counseling for Clear Communication With Your Spouse
Sometimes you cannot solve conflicts alone. Getting help, such as couples therapy, is natural and normal. Couples therapy can be quite beneficial, as you can talk about how to communicate better with your spouse. Additionally, you have someone to talk to about what is happening with your child and substance abuse. You can receive help from a therapist who understands how to help people communicate and listen to their spouses and how to overcome difficult situations. Some negative communication habits you may have to be work on during therapy, include:
- Negatively interpreting comments
- Assigning motives to others that are more negative than is really the case
- Withdrawal and avoidance
- Invalidating or being dismissive of your spouse’s point of view
These habits damage the effectiveness of communication, and a therapist can help you and your partner work through them. When you adjust negative habits to create positive ones, communication will be something both you and your partner will be efficient in. These therapists can help you learn how to communicate with your spouse without fighting.
Solving Communication Breakdowns
Communication between partners while a child is suffering from addiction often sinks. It’s a stressful situation and can lead to several different disagreements. Many factors come into play when it comes to parenting and approaching addiction. Taking on both is going to lead to arguments within the family. Children can have severe behavioral problems, and both you and your partner might want to approach recovery in different ways.
Professionals at a rehab center and at couples therapy can help you learn how to make these challenging decisions while remaining civil. Moving forward the healing process for your child is the most important aspect. Building off of each other during stressful times is what is going to make these situations easier to deal with. When a child has structure from parents in unity, it helps their choices and behavior. It can even help with their social life and school life. Effective communication among the adults will help the child, especially during challenging times such as addiction. Contact our specialists today if you would like more information about what the best treatment option available to you is. We are here to help you, and your child, start living their healthiest life.
Couples Therapy Does Not Mean Failure
Couples therapy is a type of therapy that works on improving the relationship of people instead of the individual, similar to one-on-one therapy. This therapy focuses on one specific goal, such as communication, and sets a clear understanding of goals to meet. The therapist might start with some basic questions, such as how you two met, the relationship history, backgrounds, and some issues that occur within the relationship. These questions allow the therapist to see you as individuals and what you both bring to the table in terms of the relationship.
Couples therapists can help couples identify some of the issues they are having, and help improve their communication skills. These skills will allow the couple to move past difficult situations and decisions together. How to communicate with your spouse is the main goal of couples therapy.
Getting Help with Addiction
Addiction can be a difficult thing to go through. It is even more difficult when it is your child who is suffering from addiction. Their behavior is unfamiliar and they just are not the same person anymore. Addiction impacts their social, family, and even school life. Getting help might seem like an intimidating step to take, but there are people who want to help.
Your child’s recovery process will be efficient and effective, while also taking into consideration all of their needs and obligations, such as remaining in school. During these challenging times, communication between the adults in the family may be difficult. It might even take a turn for the worst, with constant arguing and fighting. It can seem like you and your partner cannot agree on the next step. The communication breakdowns are normal and occur with a lot of stress. However, it can be helped. Getting your child recovery help is the main priority.
Professionals can help these types of communication challenges. Couples therapy can help couples learn how to effectively communicate and listen to each other. Supporting each other and being united during difficult times is how to achieve success within a relationship.
The child can take advantage of the parents by pinning one against the other to get what they want. This takes the focus off the child and on top of the other parent. A couples therapist can help the couple identify the issues the couple is fighting about and teach them how to communicate through the issue. This helps the couple and the child, as children benefit from structure and parents who are a team. Call us today at 912-214-3867 for more information on how a rehab center can help you. We want to help guide you towards the right path.
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